No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
