Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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