Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
