I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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