the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
