We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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