Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
