I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
