You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
