Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
