i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
