it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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