me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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