I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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