do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
zippers are such a cool invention
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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