I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
