We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he puts the penis in happiness.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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