People with herpes should wear stickers.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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