what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
