Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
