I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
