i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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