Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize