how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
