getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize