I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
