i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
