Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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