I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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