shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
