Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
