Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
