Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
