I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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