i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
