I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
