I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
