Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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