I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
