honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
