Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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