I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
no more duck duck goose at the bar
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
