Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
