If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
