I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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