I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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