I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize