my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
