Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
