i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
