I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
