I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
