I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
