if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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