OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
