Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just invented taco cereal.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
