This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize