I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
