The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
