Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
