I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
