i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
