You made me cry and you don't even care
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
