last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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